Chrissy Teigen Says We Need to Normalize Formula. I Disagree.
"normalize breastfeeding" is great. "normalize formula" is great, too! so yeah. that's all! normalize formula! your baby is gonna be BEAUTIFUL, PERFECT, AND OKAY.
— chrissy teigen (@chrissyteigen) November 29, 2020
Yet again, Teigen has shed light on some of the unspoken struggles of motherhood and made mothers around the world feel seen, heard and supported.
Let me be perfectly clear: this is an excellent thing.
But, as an Infant Feeding Specialist and Postpartum Doula, who has supported families in feeding their babies every which way, I have to disagree with Teigen.
We do have a problem, but normalizing formula isn’t the solution.
The history of infant feeding in developed nations is long and fraught, but what’s clear is that by the mid-twentieth century, formula was so widely used that it had almost completely overtaken breastfeeding in developed nations.
As more research emerged on the benefits of breastfeeding, breastfeeding activism was born and governing bodies began initiatives to increase breastfeeding rates.
Even as breastfeeding rates continue to rise, the fact we still talk of the benefits of breastfeeding hints to the fact that we don’t actually consider breastfeeding to be the norm or the default. When studying something, researchers usually take what occurs normally as the baseline and then study the benefits and risks of the alternative. And yet, with breastfeeding research, we always talk about the benefits of breastfeeding, which implies that formula is the baseline. When else do we use the alternative as a baseline? When the alternative (formula) has replaced the original (breastmilk) as the norm.
Breastfeeding advocates are working valiantly to increase breastfeeding rates and reestablish breastfeeding as the norm. But these breastfeeding initiatives are always working against the billion dollar formula industry, that displaced breastfeeding in the first place, so they’ve had to be aggressive.
The problem? New parents are often the ones who get the brunt of this aggression.
The push for breastfeeding makes it seem as though everyone is breastfeeding and if you’re not, you should be.
people have surrogates, people have trouble breastfeeding and all you hear as a new, anxious mom is how breast is best.
— chrissy teigen (@chrissyteigen) November 29, 2020
She’s right. Between the formula companies pushing their product and the breastfeeding advocates fighting back, moms are caught in the middle.
Formula may be common, but over the past few years, it’s attained an aura of shame.
And yet, breastfeeding moms don’t fare much better.
Breastfeeding is pushed on new mothers, but it doesn’t receive enough practical support. Mothers are shamed for breastfeeding in public or for breastfeeding past a certain age or for sharing a breastfeeding win or for complaining about breastfeeding. And if a mother struggles with breastfeeding, it can be hard to find good help.
But then, formula feeding mothers also receive dirty looks or rude comments. And they’re constantly barraged with messages about the superiority of breastmilk and the importance of breastfeeding.
It seems you can’t feed your baby anything, without fear of judgement and possibly harassment.
And so, it seems natural that Teigen, who has shared photos that normalize breastfeeding in the past, would want to reduce this shame by suggesting that now we must normalize formula.
But the issue isn’t that formula isn’t normalized. It’s that parents need more support and less judgement.
Every day, mothers are shamed for how or when or where we feed our babies and we’re all so hurt and vulnerable and lacking support. We’re caught between agendas and can’t turn to a healthcare provider without worrying that they’ll impose their biases. Nor can we turn to each other, because the agendas have served, in some cases intentionally, to alienate us from each other.
What we need are more people trusting us to make the best decisions for our families, more people offering the support we need to reach OUR goals, more understanding that there is no one way to parent.
I remember pumping my ASS OFF, highest mode, so often, because I didn't trust milk was going into their mouthes if I breastfed. it drove me mad to the point I could only get an ounce. an ounce!
— chrissy teigen (@chrissyteigen) November 29, 2020
I feel her pain and the pain of the thousands of mothers who responded, sharing similar stories. Every one of them deserves better.
But normalizing formula isn’t what they need. What they need is better support.
Teigen needed expert guidance to know whether she truly did or didn't have enough milk, and the support to trust that there was enough milk going into her babies mouths if she did or help supplementing with formula if she didn’t.
She needed to know that it was okay to supplement with formula, if that's what she and her baby needed, because bodies don’t always function optimally and it’s never a personal failing.
She needed a competent provider, with time and attention to attune to her needs and desires, to help her meet her goals or gently change course, in a way that felt right for her.
Because each of our wants and needs is so different, there cannot be a one size all solution.
What we need are providers who hear us and provide individualized care, based on our unique desires and circumstances. We need to normalize not shaming new mothers. We need to normalize trusting that they know what’s best for themselves and their babies. We need to normalize support.