Bonding with Your Baby After a Cesarean Birth
We often hear how magical it is right after giving birth unmedicated, your slippery baby placed on your chest immediately after delivery.
But what about those of us who have medicated or surgical births? What if our babies need to be separated from us for a several minutes or hours for extra care?
Do we miss out on those precious early moments?
Not a chance.
However your baby comes into this world, however long it is until you can hold them, there is nothing like the moment when you're reunited.
If you have a c-section, it may be possible for you to hold your baby and do skin to skin in the OR, either immediately after delivery or after your baby's stable.
Even if this doesn't happen right away or even if the sparks *don't* fly the moment you hold your baby, the opportunity for bonding and magic doesn't expire.
Maybe it takes you a few days to start to bond, while your footing after a difficult birth or the shock of being newly postpartum.
It's okay. Sometimes it takes time.
All I've ever wanted was a fresh, wet baby plopped immediately onto my chest.
It's never happened and, I admit, I feel a little cheated out of that experience.
When my first was born, she was whisked off right away for suctioning, since we’d had meconium staining.
Honestly, in the moment I was happy to have a few minutes to lose my shit and then find it again before holding her. I was instantly in love, but there was too much going on to relish the first few hours. I needed to deliver the placenta, my midwives had to stitch me up and get me out of bed and peeing within those first few hours.
I wanted an early hospital release, so there was a flurry of activity to make that happen.
By the time I did get home, I was so exhausted that I got straight into bed, while my mom or maybe my sister cared for the baby. Then I was waking up constantly to nurse and nursing was difficult and painful, so I couldn’t properly catch up on the sleep I so desperately needed.
I still don’t feel that I ever really got a proper “golden hour” with her.
But, I want to assure you, I still bonded beautifully with her. There was no hour, but there were so many magical moments throughout those first days and weeks. They were more than enough to build a strong foundation of bonding and connection.
My second was born via unplanned c-section and also needed suctioning and care immediately after birth.
But when I did get to hold her after 15 minutes, it was perfect.
Pure joy, mixed with relief and gratitude.
Still, immediately after surgery, I needed to be sewn up and observed and and and.
But within 2 or 3 hours, we were tucked into bed in the Mom and Baby Unit and I spent the day resting with her on my chest. Peaceful, content.
I felt like I got to spend a “golden day” with her.
I was blissed out and in no pain, thanks to the epidural and pain meds that took hours to wear off. I was already comfortable with breastfeeding, since she was my second and the c-section didn’t interfere with nursing for us at all. We had nowhere to go and nothing to do but rest and recover together.
Even so, I worried that I wasn’t bonding perfectly with her. I think it’s something we all worry about and need some reassurance with.
But looking back, I know we bonded and connected. It was clear as day to anyone who saw us.
It didn’t matter, in the end, that we didn’t get those earliest, slipperiest cuddles. Sure, it would have been lovely and it’s still something I’m a little sad that we missed. But 2.5 and 4.5 years later, I have sweet, special relationships with each of my girls, which go so much deeper than a singular moment of connection.